Farewell
by I-am-a-loner
Summary: One shot Defan. The aftermath of Stefan's death.


The world had treated him unfairly from the beginning, bringing only sadness and destruction with every passing day. But he had got used to it - the pain, death and misery. Usually he was the one inflicting misery on others, bringing destruction with him everywhere he went, but he couldn't help it. He liked to think that it was a part of his nature, something that couldn't be changed. Yet, deep down he knew that if he wanted to, with a flick of his finger, he could change the man who looks back at him from the mirror – turn from a ruthless, selfish killer to a more humane person if you could say that for a vampire. Everything that Damon Salvatore had ever done had served a greater purpose; one that would fulfil his needs and bring him some relief from the self-loathing he carried within. If he couldn't love himself enough, then maybe taking away love from other people would make him feel better about himself. And for a while, it worked.

He managed to get the girl he wanted, make her love him in a way he always had wished for but even that love couldn't fill his empty spaces. He made the girl he so dearly loved turn into a woman with twisted morals and with an excuse for every horrible thing he did. He couldn't recognize the girl he fell in love with anymore – the girl with strong sense of self and who used to call him out on his outbursts of violence. And while he still liked to think that somewhere deep down the same selfless girl still resided, he couldn't see her anymore. Yet, he still kept convincing himself that he loved her, because that was the only thing he had left.

Then there was Stefan – his baby brother to whom he had caused endless misery because he couldn't stand to see him happy. Why does Stefan get to be happy while he has to be in pain? So he had made everything in his power to steal every ounce of happiness from him, because that was the only thing he knew how to do. It came easily to him, like a reflex and he felt nothing while seeing his brother suffering from the consequences he caused.

He liked to think that the reason Stefan needed to suffer lied within the beginnings of their transition to vampires – because Katherine had chosen to love him too and every selfish bone in Damon's body had screamed to him that Stefan has to pay for that. That was easy.

So he killed his brother's best friend just because he could. He pursued Elena until he reached his goal. Yet, he still watched Stefan hold his head up high in pride, almost embracing the destruction around him and come out a winner. And guess what? Damon couldn't stand that either – he wanted to see his brother beaten down by life as he was, but Stefan never gave up – he made new friends, met new lovers and even though Damon knew how much Stefan loved Elena he still wished his older brother to find happiness with Elena.

"That's Stefan for you." Damon mumbles under his breath as he takes another gulp from the bottle of whisky. "Always the righteous one."

Night had fallen. Darkness was swallowing him whole, but the feelings of self-loathing remained, nothing seemed to erase them; so deeply rooted were they in Damon's mind.

"Damn you!" he shouts and throws the bottle against the asphalt. "Damn you…"

He swings himself off the hood of his car, his feet touching the ground with a soft thud. The world is unfortunately not spinning for him and he looks sadly down at the broken glass thinking how that was his last bottle.

"See?" He speaks into thin air, knowing that he'll probably never get an answer. "I've wasted my last good bottle on you." He chuckles lightly, but that doesn't help to ease the mood.

He had always taken Stefan for granted. Stefan had always been there to pull him out of the deepest holes Damon could think to dig himself into and he had accepted all his help with a touch of bitterness because they always reminded Damon of his own actions _against _Stefan.

"You stupid son of a bitch," he mutters and paces back and forth, the headlights of his car illuminating the path he's following incessantly.

Damon stops suddenly and looks at his sky coloured Camaro. He doesn't know what forces take his body over but he finds himself tearing off the passenger door and flinging it deep into the pasture on his right. The driver's door follows and then the lid of the trunk. He smashes the hood with his feet and stomps in the roof, feeling the seating crush beneath his feet. He destroys and breaks and demolishes his car until there's nothing left but scrap metal.

And when he finally stops he's breathing heavily, blood is trickling down his fingers from all the cuts he got, but he doesn't notice it.

That's what Damon does – he destroys. He destroys himself and the people around him.

The only one he couldn't destroy was Stefan and now he's gone. The only anchor he ever had is now gone and he doesn't know how to continue.

"I hope you're happy now!" Damon yells from the top of his lungs, kicking an engine piece with his foot.

He knows what Stefan would tell him. He'd tell him to get himself together - for Elena, for Caroline, for Matt, for Bonnie, for every single person in Mystic Falls, because if he doesn't, who will?

"I can't take your place." Damon growls as the thoughts pervade his mind.

"You don't have to," a familiar voice sounds behind him.

Damon catches his breath and time stops. He turns around and is greeted by the face of his baby brother.

Stefan smiles ruefully, but the smile doesn't reach his eyes.

"Stefan?"

"Hi, brother."

"Did you just watch me smash my car and said nothing?" Damon blurts out involuntarily.

Stefan grins, "It was quite amusing."

"Dick," Damon says.

"I don't have much time, Damon," Stefan says with a glance at the sky, seeing something that Damon cannot.

There's a moment when neither of them say anything, because sometimes silence is enough.

"Stefan…" Damon says, pain colouring his voice.

"I know," Stefan says with the same amount of misery.

"I'm going to find a way to bring you back," Damon says desperately.

Stefan's face hardens, "No." He says resolutely.

Damon grimaces upon hearing his brother's answer. "Why?" he asks automatically, not seeing why his brother wouldn't want to live.

"You cannot bring back a life without sacrificing another."

"I don't see the problem." Damon snaps, cursing his brother's selflessness.

"Damon," Stefan warns.

"Stefan." He retorts.

"Promise me you won't do anything stupid," Stefan says quietly, looking Damon straight into his eyes.

"I can't."

Stefan looks up again; Damon follows his gaze but sees nothing.

"It's time," Stefan says sadly. "Goodbye, Damon."

"No, stop," Damon takes a step forward.

"Time to put on your hero hair, brother," Stefan says and with a last timid smile disappears.


End file.
